My boyfriend, Lovely Boy, has decided that he wants to be a Barrister too. He's applied to do the GDL and he hears whether hes been accepted around about the same time as I'll hear about the BVC (I think).
This worries me. I've noticed that between wanabee lawyers there is a lot of bitchyness and ill will. The success rates are so low and the competition so fierce that this makes sense, and it's just something you have to accept. Everyone tries to put others down, either by making themselves out to be superior, or even by directly criticising and belittling each other. The fact is, we're all really nice people in the pub, but when we meet a competitor, the claws are out and we're always on the look out for a sign as to whether or not we think this person could be a threat to our future happiness. I've found myself on the receiving end once or twice and I've discovered I have my own approach: excessive displays of (patronising) kindness... Sounding as supportive as possible so that I don't show any fear and come across as cool and calm as possible, like I know some secret and have it in the bag. Which I really don't. I don't even have (that much) control over it, I realise I'm doing it but find it impossible to stop. But then, there are far worse than me out there, they don't even try to be nice.
Maybe you disagree and this isn't your experience at all, but think back to how you were judging the Pupillage chasers on the BBC show "Barristers" and then tell me you're a nice supportive person and you want everyone to make it! Or for a prime example of the crazy ass bitchin that sometimes turns up read the comments on one of Android's articles on Law Village, "Join the Queue" back in November. http://www.legalweek.com/Navigation/95/Articles/1178580/Join+the+queue.html
Its clear that we're just not always very nice to each other. Especially that loser. (Solidarity Android, solidarity - and that isn't me being fake patronising kind!)
Anyway, do I really want to risk my relationship with Lovely Boy turning into that? The fact that we're so close could make it worse. I'm not like this with my friends but I'm worried that I might be too competitive to encourage him, and be too jealous to celebrate his successes. This would probably make me a bad person. It definitely would make me an awful girlfriend. Absolutely not marriage material. (sigh). Or maybe he would get cocky, arrogant and think he was better than me. Or worse actually be better than me. He might even turn into a Law Zombie and sell his beautiful and pure soul to the corporate world. It has the potential for disaster and heartbreak. I want to give myself (and him) more credit than that. But I've wanted this for such a long time, I can't guarantee I won't go a little crazy. Plus, when I do have crazy stressed out moments, invariably he's the one on the receiving end.
I've talked this through with him, obviously not in a "you/I can't do this because our 3 year relationship is more important than your future career prospects" way, but more of a "aaarrgh panic" way. We decided that we'll just have to keep each other in check and make sure we keep the demons at bay.
But then I had a thought. It might not be so bad, maybe we could work as a team. Isn't the whole reason there are so many of us blogging away about this rough ride to the Bar because we need a bit of support and advice from each other? Maybe, just maybe, it could be something beautiful and slightly vomit making...
The most problematic thing about this whole situation though, is that I wont be able to make up laws to win arguments anymore... Bad times.
Anyone have any advice? Useful anecdotes? Vomit making stories? I'd love to hear it, even if it's just to take my mind off the looming BVC application accept/reject emails that will be pinging out of BVC online in less than 2 weeks time!
ps my cousin, Special K, has started her own blog! http://thespecialkgirl.blogspot.com/
anecdote of competitiveness? I have loads!: one being an important piece of contract coursework for undergrad where ALL relevent articles in law journals were mysteriously ripped out from the books in the library.
ReplyDeleteThere is so much resentment. But it feels good to help people. I have a friend who got a satisfactory history degree and decided to go down the law route. He applied to a silver circle firm - who offered him a TC and are now paying for his GDL/ LPC (whilst giving him a more than ample living allowance). He obviously doesn't know how lucky he is but i help him with most of his GDL work - which gives me a sense of superiority despite losing out career wise.
I do think its easier for people with different degrees do be more successful at interview too: law undergrads have to apply when they are naive in 1st/2nd year. Other degrees can wait until they have their full degree and then apply (still 3 years in advance) subsequently embarking on the GDL etc. This makes a big difference in maturity come interview: and makes things much harder for law students.