My First Murderer

The company I work for gets money from the DWP and other Government agencies to run programmes to help tackle worklessness in deprived areas. Technically, it's my job as a Bid Writer to win this money for the company, but everybody in the office tends to do a bit of everything that's going on.

Currently we're doing some work with ex offenders. I'm actually visiting a prison later on in the week with a few colleagues (I'm not sure why we need to do this work wise, but I'm looking forwards to it from an academic point of view... See Foucault in action and all that.). Anyway, at uni I was into the whole rehabilitation not just retribution thing, and I absolutely loved the half modules I did on Criminology and treatment of Offenders.

Rehabilitating offenders is crucial to tackling crime rates, as such a high percentage of reported crime is committed by a small number of repeat offenders. The two largest factors affecting recidivism are Housing and Employment. So it is important that employment opportunities are made available to offenders for them to be able to start afresh in a law abiding life.

In Criminology we studied "Labelling Theory" which was another theory that I absolutely loved. The theory argues that by labelling people as "criminals" or "offenders" we cast them out from society, and make it impossible for them to return to the fold. With this label, they then find themselves conforming to the stereotype put upon them, and will consequently continue to behave as "criminals".

So, controversial and politically sensitive as all this is, that kinda sums up my thoughts about this group of people and how we should treat them: Give them a chance to start afresh and don't throw their history in their face at every corner, or they'll never reform.

AND THEN I MET A MURDERER.

I'm interested in the Criminal Bar. I think I'd prefer Family, but have always considered Criminal, even after i got a 2.2 in my Criminal Law exam in first year. So, meeting murderers is pretty much something I'm going to experience one day as a Barrister. (one day...) But I may have freaked out slightly when I realised I'd just shaken the hand and smiled and had a casual conversation with a murderer. All of my thoughts about negative labelling and giving people a chance to start again went out of my head and I just thought OMG is he dangerous?!

Seconds later all my well intentioned thoughts slowly started to pop back into my head. But I'm still slightly perturbed by my initial wide eyed reaction. Fortunately I wasn't told until he had left the office, so he didn't have to see my wide eyed-ness (that's not really a word is it?...).

Will I always react that way? Is it ok, because the other thoughts came back to me after a few seconds? Am I still the good person I thought I was?

How will I handle a prison full to the brim with Criminals?!

But I am glad to have gotten that experience out of the way and under my belt. I may not have been as calm about it as I would have liked, but now I've met my first murderer (that I'm aware of) I can begin the process of becoming immune to the shock/fear/surprise. To be honest, I've probably met loads in the pub.

Lesson Learned

Today I am learning a valuable lesson. 12 hours of whisky does not a clever person make.


Never again.

Competitive Law

My boyfriend, Lovely Boy, has decided that he wants to be a Barrister too. He's applied to do the GDL and he hears whether hes been accepted around about the same time as I'll hear about the BVC (I think).

This worries me. I've noticed that between wanabee lawyers there is a lot of bitchyness and ill will. The success rates are so low and the competition so fierce that this makes sense, and it's just something you have to accept. Everyone tries to put others down, either by making themselves out to be superior, or even by directly criticising and belittling each other. The fact is, we're all really nice people in the pub, but when we meet a competitor, the claws are out and we're always on the look out for a sign as to whether or not we think this person could be a threat to our future happiness. I've found myself on the receiving end once or twice and I've discovered I have my own approach: excessive displays of (patronising) kindness... Sounding as supportive as possible so that I don't show any fear and come across as cool and calm as possible, like I know some secret and have it in the bag. Which I really don't. I don't even have (that much) control over it, I realise I'm doing it but find it impossible to stop. But then, there are far worse than me out there, they don't even try to be nice.

Maybe you disagree and this isn't your experience at all, but think back to how you were judging the Pupillage chasers on the BBC show "Barristers" and then tell me you're a nice supportive person and you want everyone to make it! Or for a prime example of the crazy ass bitchin that sometimes turns up read the comments on one of Android's articles on Law Village, "Join the Queue" back in November. http://www.legalweek.com/Navigation/95/Articles/1178580/Join+the+queue.html

Its clear that we're just not always very nice to each other. Especially that loser. (Solidarity Android, solidarity - and that isn't me being fake patronising kind!)

Anyway, do I really want to risk my relationship with Lovely Boy turning into that? The fact that we're so close could make it worse. I'm not like this with my friends but I'm worried that I might be too competitive to encourage him, and be too jealous to celebrate his successes. This would probably make me a bad person. It definitely would make me an awful girlfriend. Absolutely not marriage material. (sigh). Or maybe he would get cocky, arrogant and think he was better than me. Or worse actually be better than me. He might even turn into a Law Zombie and sell his beautiful and pure soul to the corporate world. It has the potential for disaster and heartbreak. I want to give myself (and him) more credit than that. But I've wanted this for such a long time, I can't guarantee I won't go a little crazy. Plus, when I do have crazy stressed out moments, invariably he's the one on the receiving end.

I've talked this through with him, obviously not in a "you/I can't do this because our 3 year relationship is more important than your future career prospects" way, but more of a "aaarrgh panic" way. We decided that we'll just have to keep each other in check and make sure we keep the demons at bay.

But then I had a thought. It might not be so bad, maybe we could work as a team. Isn't the whole reason there are so many of us blogging away about this rough ride to the Bar because we need a bit of support and advice from each other? Maybe, just maybe, it could be something beautiful and slightly vomit making...

The most problematic thing about this whole situation though, is that I wont be able to make up laws to win arguments anymore... Bad times.

Anyone have any advice? Useful anecdotes? Vomit making stories? I'd love to hear it, even if it's just to take my mind off the looming BVC application accept/reject emails that will be pinging out of BVC online in less than 2 weeks time!

ps my cousin, Special K, has started her own blog! http://thespecialkgirl.blogspot.com/

Multiple Choice

I got an email today from City Law school, inviting me to a BVC open day 2 days before the accept/reject emails are sent out.

This has thrown me slightly, as I can't figure out whether this is:

(a) a good thing, because surely it would be cruel of them to invite me to an open day unless they were planning on accepting me;

(b) a bad thing because as my second choice, they will have only gotten my application if BPP have decided to reject me (is this the way it works or have I made this up?);

(c) a test. If I don't apply to go, will they reject me. (Common sense tells me that this is not how it works, but all the same, I have a suspicious mind).

(d) none of the above. I should stop speculating and let life unfold as it pleases.

I has also set my mind spinning about whether or not I want to go to CLS. Aside from the fact that it is only one initial different from CLG (positive) their part time course is no where near as appealing as the part time course at BPP. They have week night sessions rather than weekends, and the whole reason I decided I would be able to do the part time thing was because of the weekend sessions, and yet I decided to put CLS as 2nd and College of Law 3rd.

I know why I did this, it was based on all the good things the Barristers in the pub had to say about CLS, and the lack of anything positive that I've heard about CoL. This could well be because the Barristers that drink in the pub all went to CLS, and are therefore biased, and I've only met LPC-ers from CoL, so who knows whether that was a good reason to base my choice on or not.

What I am absolutely clear on now though, is that it's BPP that I want. This goes against my initial instincts completely... I thought I would absolutely hate going to another institution that feels as corporate as LSE (which the Open Evening they had proved to me that it does), but they really do offer the best deal for part timers. Even if it is the most expensive, it just seems to offer the most flexibility and support for part timers like myself. Oddly, I also found the corporate feel quite comforting. I may have hated my university for most of the time I was there, but I know I managed to do well (enough) there, and it made me feel more comfortable! Plus the Law Zombies all went off to do the LPC. Surely they wont have infiltrated the BVC, and of those that do, surely they wont be part timers like myself?

So, fingers crossed, on the 2nd March I'll get the offer I'm after. But maybe I should register for that open day...

Special K

My cousin, Special K, has been offered a place at university!!!

She will be the second person ever from our family to go to uni, and I am sooo proud of her. A few months ago she was completely disenchanted by the whole thing and decided not to bother applying. She told me that it wasn't for her, that it would be too hard and basically came up with a load of excuses to disguise the fact that she didn't feel that she was good enough. Which is ridiculous when you consider the fact that her name is Special K. That is exactly what I told her at the time, and turns out, she actually listened to me!

I am hoping that when she does go to university, she begins to realise just how cool she is. Sometimes I think she doesn't give herself enough credit, she lets other people think that they are somehow better than she is. But they really really aren't. I hope that when she goes to university she meets people that recognise how brilliant she is, and encourage her to shine.

I'm so happy that she's decided to push herself and get a degree. But I'll be making sure she has someone to talk to in case she encounters the law zombies. Presumably she wont have too much trouble with that though, because she'll be studying Media and Religious Studies... But you never know.

This post is probably a bit mushy and sentimental, but she is the only person I've told about this blog, so y'know, gotta show her love and all that.

Free to the R to the U

In line with my aim to use this year out productively, I went to a FRU training session this weekend. I loved every minute of it, even when there seemed to be sleeping students all around the place because the last guy was labouring every point. I can't wait to finish the registering process (some test left to do - eek!) so I can get stuck in!

It was a bit weird being in a lecture theatre full of law students though. At first I assumed they would all be law zombies like they were at uni, but then I realised that they seemed to be pretty normal (as normal as law students get at least). So, I decided that this was either because they were decent people willing to give up their time to represent someone in a social security tribunal; or because the law zombies are losing their cult status now that the corporate world is in a mess and city law firms aren't so keen on harvesting souls as they were 12 months ago. It could be a bit of both... or it could be neither. I'm out of touch anyway, living as I do for the time being, in the non legal world of 9-5.30.

I really wanted to volunteer with FRU while I was at uni, but for some reason (I can't remember why) I was put off from applying. It had something to do with the wording of the email that was sent around the law department advertising it, and when I read it, it said "Common Law Girl Need Not Apply as she isn't in line for a first" or something like that.... so I didn't sign up. But I REALLY wanted to, and sulked when I realised that I didn't need a 1st, and in fact my friend who wasn't in line for a first either did sign up but now it was too late. But then again, the email hadn't said "friends of CLG shouldn't apply either" so that's probably why he wasn't put off. But wow, I was jealous! Thinking about it, I shouldn't have hesitated, but you live and learn.

Anyway, as it happens, I've signed up now, and it is even better timing, because I have a family member in need. Nothing makes you feel more grown up that being able to offer a member of your family some legal advice. (Well, I'm sure there are other things, like paying bills, or giving birth, but that's not the point). My Great-Uncle has had his Disability Living Allowance stopped after receiving it for over 10 years. His condition hasn't changed and he is confused and upset that its been taken away. Finally, I'll be able to put my legal knowledge to some use, and try and see if we can figure out what's going on and what can be done about it. Finally, I can do something to help.

Aside from the usefulness of being able to help a loved one, I am so eager to be able to go and volunteer and help people with their cases and put my degree to some good use already!

Best of all, my boss is really supportive of the whole thing, because it ties really well into the work that I do. The company I work for run programmes to help people get off benefits and into sustainable employment, so learning more about the ins and outs of the social security system is practically career development from her perspective. Plus, she's just a lovely woman who is supportive of everything anyway.

So the point is, FRU is brilliant and I can't wait. Plus one of the speakers was absolutely gorgeous! He used to be a GP and is now a pupil, and was so so attractive that I think my non lawyer friends would have enjoyed his talk on medical evidence as well.

I was so inspired I had the energy for a 6 hour long rave in Bristol on Saturday night. Bristol is amazing, and if anyone ever goes there, or indeed lives there, check out Mr Wolfe's.

All in all, a day well spent :)

The Why

Hi!

So, I've finished my law degree (thank god) and I thought it would be an excellent idea to not go straight on to do the BVC, but rather take a year out and work full time and save save save! The BVC is particularly expensive afterall, and as you might guess from the blog name, I don't have any money to fall back on. Sounds sensible enough, but this is proving to be more difficult than I expected, for 2 reasons.

1. Now that I am earning money, I can't stop spending it!!! I've always budgeted with the mindset of making sure I don't spend more money than I have, and pretty much spend my last £ or so just before I get my next wage packet/student loan or whatever. But now.... I'm still doing it! The fact that I'm earning more just makes me budget for more stuff!

2. I'm out of touch. I do what I can to keep up to date with legal news, but its not easy. I've lost the daily contact with studying law that came with uni, and having other important stuff going on, like working late, drinking late and staying up all night watching Gossip Girl, it is hard to keep track.

I'm working on the money saving problem. Kind of. But this blog is hopefully going to keep me up to date with the law news stuff, because I will probably keep checking other law student blogs, and maybe they'll even discover me. At which point i'll have to "man up" as B, my flatmate would say (even tho I'm not a man) and try and look like I know important stuff by making offhand casual references to cases I looked up on wiki. :)

So that is the why. I guess I'll do the who tomorrow.