OLPhew!

It has been hard not to notice that there are one or two (thousand) stressed out wannabe Barristers stressing themselves into heavy drinking thanks to the return of the OLPAS season. I am so grateful that this year at least, there is nothing on OLPAS that I can apply for. I had a quick look to check, as the theory is that you can apply for the 2011/12 session as well, but the handful of chambers (by that I mean literally 5) that offer that option are all commercial sets that are just not my scene. So I am spared for one last year before the madness sets in. For those of you going through hell at the moment though, good luck! I hope you get the pupillage of your dreams. This year. So you wont be competing with me next year.

I'm in a play at the moment, which is very exciting. It's been over a year since I was in a play and I'm loving it! It is also keeping me going now that I am back in the office after my mini pupillage. Work is so uninspiring in comparison. But, working hard and earning money will help me to get to the Bar so I've got to keep at it. Eugh.

Lovely Boy is returning to the nest for a few weeks tomorrow. He's been away for some time now, and I'm not sure how long he will be staying. I'm really excited about seeing him, but it does mean that I may have difficulty posting for a while as he will no doubt take up most of my free attention. More importantly, he doesn't know about this blog. I don't want him to know about it either, mainly for anonymity's sake but also because as much as I love him, cherish him and hope live happily ever after with him, it's really refreshing to have something in my life that he knows nothing about. So basically I wont be posting while he is around. Try not to miss me too much... :p

Competitive Law

My boyfriend, Lovely Boy, has decided that he wants to be a Barrister too. He's applied to do the GDL and he hears whether hes been accepted around about the same time as I'll hear about the BVC (I think).

This worries me. I've noticed that between wanabee lawyers there is a lot of bitchyness and ill will. The success rates are so low and the competition so fierce that this makes sense, and it's just something you have to accept. Everyone tries to put others down, either by making themselves out to be superior, or even by directly criticising and belittling each other. The fact is, we're all really nice people in the pub, but when we meet a competitor, the claws are out and we're always on the look out for a sign as to whether or not we think this person could be a threat to our future happiness. I've found myself on the receiving end once or twice and I've discovered I have my own approach: excessive displays of (patronising) kindness... Sounding as supportive as possible so that I don't show any fear and come across as cool and calm as possible, like I know some secret and have it in the bag. Which I really don't. I don't even have (that much) control over it, I realise I'm doing it but find it impossible to stop. But then, there are far worse than me out there, they don't even try to be nice.

Maybe you disagree and this isn't your experience at all, but think back to how you were judging the Pupillage chasers on the BBC show "Barristers" and then tell me you're a nice supportive person and you want everyone to make it! Or for a prime example of the crazy ass bitchin that sometimes turns up read the comments on one of Android's articles on Law Village, "Join the Queue" back in November. http://www.legalweek.com/Navigation/95/Articles/1178580/Join+the+queue.html

Its clear that we're just not always very nice to each other. Especially that loser. (Solidarity Android, solidarity - and that isn't me being fake patronising kind!)

Anyway, do I really want to risk my relationship with Lovely Boy turning into that? The fact that we're so close could make it worse. I'm not like this with my friends but I'm worried that I might be too competitive to encourage him, and be too jealous to celebrate his successes. This would probably make me a bad person. It definitely would make me an awful girlfriend. Absolutely not marriage material. (sigh). Or maybe he would get cocky, arrogant and think he was better than me. Or worse actually be better than me. He might even turn into a Law Zombie and sell his beautiful and pure soul to the corporate world. It has the potential for disaster and heartbreak. I want to give myself (and him) more credit than that. But I've wanted this for such a long time, I can't guarantee I won't go a little crazy. Plus, when I do have crazy stressed out moments, invariably he's the one on the receiving end.

I've talked this through with him, obviously not in a "you/I can't do this because our 3 year relationship is more important than your future career prospects" way, but more of a "aaarrgh panic" way. We decided that we'll just have to keep each other in check and make sure we keep the demons at bay.

But then I had a thought. It might not be so bad, maybe we could work as a team. Isn't the whole reason there are so many of us blogging away about this rough ride to the Bar because we need a bit of support and advice from each other? Maybe, just maybe, it could be something beautiful and slightly vomit making...

The most problematic thing about this whole situation though, is that I wont be able to make up laws to win arguments anymore... Bad times.

Anyone have any advice? Useful anecdotes? Vomit making stories? I'd love to hear it, even if it's just to take my mind off the looming BVC application accept/reject emails that will be pinging out of BVC online in less than 2 weeks time!

ps my cousin, Special K, has started her own blog! http://thespecialkgirl.blogspot.com/