I've been wondering recently whether the company I work for/job I do is really the right place for me to be. In terms of the "how does this job benefit your legal career?" question, while the answer isn't as obvious as it would be working as a paralegal, I've always known what I would need to say (Understanding of both public and private sector, understanding of client groups, commercial acumen blah blah blah...) But the reality is, I don't think that I am actually gaining or learning anything. In a rival company that is better established, this would probably have been a different story, but I'm with a start-up company made up of a team of "experts" who from what I can tell don't understand anything about organisation and management. They are all ideas people who simply haven't bothered to implement any structure into the company, and talk constantly about how successful they are going to be without doing anything to get them there. When I applied for the job I was given the impression that there would be opportunities for career progression and training and that they invested in their staff. Total bull, I've been with them for 9 months now and there is nothing. I've not had any training, and when I mentioned wanting the opportunity to develop, it was shot down. To top it all, I'm not that sure I'm any good at the job anyway, although without any guidance or feedback (despite constant requests for this) I have no way of knowing. This is all made worse by the sheer unprofessionalism of the senior team.
As people, they are lovely, and I'm glad to have met them and very happy to socialise with them, but at work I am sick of the political vying for control, the whispering, the mood swings and worst of all, the fact that the MD "restructures" every few weeks so line managers change, and responsibility for this that and the other switches hands suddenly without warning, merely based on her mood. I think in PR terms this would be known as "flexible working" but in my terms I'd say it was a pile of crap. Up until recently, I've at least managed to avoid the political games, but recently it looks like someone has dragged me in without telling me, and now I have to find out who's playing on my team and who is against me!
So, with this in mind I've been thinking about finding a new job. But I've also got to find somewhere new to live as my flatmates and I will be parting ways soon, so I was planning on sorting that first. But in the past week or so, The Company was told that it had not been successful in a bid for the Daddy of All Contracts, and so now the office is a battleground between the MD and the Shareholders who are in all likelihood planning to pull our funding. Meaning I need to find a job QUICK and jump ship before it sinks.
All this = STRESS!!!! But on a plus side, I have found a job that I would very much like to be doing instead, so I can at least channel all of this worry and desperation into writing the best application for a job the world has ever seen and pray it all works out for the best.
