Networking

I have done some soul searching recently and realised that I have been holding myself back. I've been adamant that I will find a way to pay my own way through bar school, support myself completely and not owe my eventual success (positive thinking) to anyone but myself. There isn't necessarily anything wrong with that attitude, except that I've been letting this determination get in the way of taking up opportunities that will help me when they present themselves. Where people have offered to help me I've turned them down. A family friend offered to pay my BVC deposit as a Birthday Present and I said no. I drink with a number of Barristers on a weekly basis and I have never once asked them to help me with work experience or CV advice or anything else because it feels a bit like begging.

Part of it has been my not wanting to be hypocritical. I go on and on at length about the advantages placed at the feet of rich kids who know all the right people etc etc, so to use my own networks surely isn't much better than that? But really, I've just been being too proud to ask for help. I think it has a lot to do with my upbringing, not just in the sense that I'm from a poor background, but also because I don't have the nicest mother in the world, and she has always tried to take my achievements away from me and make out that I owe her something because I did well at school. So I have a bit of a fear that if I accept help from somebody, in 10 years time, it will come back to haunt me.

On Friday, I finally saw sense. Barristers are self-employed. You are a "business", and there is nothing wrong in my mind in making use of networks for business opportunities. I do it everyday in my 9-5 job and it is what gives our company an edge over the competition. So I have decided to try and let go of this particular hang up, because the reality is it doesn't make a difference to anyone but myself whether or not I accept the help of others.

Within hours of making this decision, I have been able to arrange a mini-pupillage and a week's marshalling and got some advice about my CV. So from where I'm sitting, not a bad decision. If it is hypocritical, and I'm not sure it really is, at least I've not been paying Oxbridge Law to apply for pupillage for me! That would be hypocritical, and very very sad.

On another note, in my last post I mentioned that I wouldn't be posting for a while as Lovely Boy is staying with me and I wanted to keep the blog a secret... I failed miserably, caving in to him yesterday. He's so stuck on which GDL provider to go with (he has a choice between BPP, CoL and Kaplan), and I've been giving him advice based on what I've read from other blogs, which has confused him because he had no idea where it was all coming from. Plus I just can't keep secrets and was desperate to tell him as soon as I clapped eyes on him! I'm so weak!! If anyone has any advice for me to pass onto him, please drop me a comment. I'm sure he'll start reading this blog now to check up on the horrible things I have to say about him anyway, so he'll definitely get it.

OLPhew!

It has been hard not to notice that there are one or two (thousand) stressed out wannabe Barristers stressing themselves into heavy drinking thanks to the return of the OLPAS season. I am so grateful that this year at least, there is nothing on OLPAS that I can apply for. I had a quick look to check, as the theory is that you can apply for the 2011/12 session as well, but the handful of chambers (by that I mean literally 5) that offer that option are all commercial sets that are just not my scene. So I am spared for one last year before the madness sets in. For those of you going through hell at the moment though, good luck! I hope you get the pupillage of your dreams. This year. So you wont be competing with me next year.

I'm in a play at the moment, which is very exciting. It's been over a year since I was in a play and I'm loving it! It is also keeping me going now that I am back in the office after my mini pupillage. Work is so uninspiring in comparison. But, working hard and earning money will help me to get to the Bar so I've got to keep at it. Eugh.

Lovely Boy is returning to the nest for a few weeks tomorrow. He's been away for some time now, and I'm not sure how long he will be staying. I'm really excited about seeing him, but it does mean that I may have difficulty posting for a while as he will no doubt take up most of my free attention. More importantly, he doesn't know about this blog. I don't want him to know about it either, mainly for anonymity's sake but also because as much as I love him, cherish him and hope live happily ever after with him, it's really refreshing to have something in my life that he knows nothing about. So basically I wont be posting while he is around. Try not to miss me too much... :p

My mini adventure

I've been on a mini-pupillage this week. My first mini-pupillage in fact, and frankly I've had the time of my life. I'm with a Criminal set based in central London, but all week so far I've been following a trial in a London court.

My mini-pupil master is a lovely guy who has included me as much as he could, and I really felt involved with the case, but more importantly he and the counsel for Prosecution both had a lot of time for me once the court day was over. Yesterday the three of us went for a drink and we had a really good time, they passed on horror stories and advice in equal measure and generally made me feel welcome.

I had the added bonus of being a close friend of the Landlord of the pub where his chambers tend to drink, meaning that we already had a common social ground on which to talk about, and I think that this helped me a lot. It made our relationship a bit more friendly, allowed a bit of banter and we had a laugh. That wasn't what I was expecting from the week, but it is definitely not something I'd complain about.

The case that he was working on was a short trial, which meant that I got to see a whole trial from start to finish in the space of 4 days. It was brilliant seeing all the different stages, from examination in chief to cross examination, closing speeches and the jury delivering a verdict. As I was watching the Barristers do their thing, I considered each bit and tried to imagine myself filling their role. Some of the time I thought "Woop woop! I could do that!" particularly the closing speeches, where they both got a bit theatrical it had to be said. At other points though, I couldn't imagine myself being able to do it. When the prosecution counsel was cross examining the defendant, she was clearly trying to get him to lose his temper and show the jury his aggressive character, but even knowing she wanted that to happen, I just thought "I would not be able to cope if I were her and he does lose it!". I spoke to her about it, and she assured me that it is something you get used to, and that as I've thrown men out of pubs before, I'll probably be able to handle myself, but all the same, I was in awe of her.

Best of all though, I was chatting to one of the security guards and he gave me the best compliment ever:
"yeah, I've gotta be honest, you do have that Barrister look about you, I reckon you'll go far."

I LOVE THAT MAN.

To err is human, to wig is divine

To the young Barrister that spoke to me in the court building stairway:
OH! How I wished you would take me in your arms, kiss me tenderly and declare you're undying devotion to me!

It is an unfair circumstance that a wig and gown can make a man so desirable. I knew full well that without them, I wouldn't have looked twice at him. I have very high standards, he would not have made the cut. But instead I was left flustered on my way out of court while he went down to the cells, having winked at me as he walked past.

And why did the words "mini-pupil master" sound so dirty when he said them?? They certainly haven't had that effect when I've been with my mini pupil master. Sigh.

Enter the Matrix

Just in case anyone is interested, Matrix Chambers is having a Student Open Day on 23rd April. To get a place, all you have to do is go onto their website, fill out a form and email it to them before all of the places are filled...

I've already got my place confirmed, and will be writing it on my C.V. pretty soonish :) Maybe see u there...

No colouring in for me...

I got accepted onto the BVC today :D

BPP were down as my first choice, and they've offered me a place on their part time course. I know many of you have your opinions on the merits of each of the schools, but I'm going to go with them. City don't offer as good a part time course and CofL, well, rejected me (on the grounds that I'd put them as my third choice).

So, colouring in or no colouring in, my decision has kind of been made for me; for which I am sooo grateful, as I would have spent weeks agonising over whether my instincts about BPP were wrong. Now I can still agonise over that, but at least I wont have a choice about where I go!

Last week I sat a FRU exam thing, which was an experience... Made even more memorable by the (ugly yet seemingly intelligent) GDL guy that decided the end of the exam was a good time to hit on me... Thankfully I had to get home to the cat.

The exam itself was very odd I thought. I constantly felt like I wasn't giving them what they were asking for, and had no idea how much they expected to be written for each response. It was a bit bizarre being around all those students as well. Not because there was anything wrong with them, but the fact that I found their company quite pleasant. I had been expecting to find them all as annoying as they were at uni, but they weren't. There was even very little bragging about work experience and superiority complex induced conversation. In fact, had the cat not been waiting for me at home in need of feeding, love and attention (which it hadn't received the night before as I didn't go home) I might have even taken up ugly but seemingly intelligent boy's offer of drinks. My boyfriend is currently in another country with his ex-girlfriend (!), and I could do with some jealousy inducing anecdotes to pass onto him. I've been collecting them recently.

I'm also not sure when I'll find out the result (of the exam that is, not the jealousy inducing anecdotes; I don't know when that will be sorted out either though...), but it could go either way. Weirdly, if I haven't passed, I don't think it will bother me. I'll just sit it again and see what happens. There was a girl who announced before the exam that she was resitting and it was the hardest exam she'd ever done in her life, which was oddly reassuring.

In the mean time though, I'm set to vegetate at home as I seem to have come down with the flu. :( I'm desperately hoping my immune system kicks it out asap as I have a tendency to take ages to recover from stuff like this and I have a mini-pupillage next week!